The One Word that Transforms Prayer: Why God’s Return Depends on You

I got into an argument on Reddit recently. Someone posted, “Would god punish me for committing a sin with bad exam results?” Someone else inevitably responded with, “I think Hashem has other things to worry about.” So I chimed in “Hashem isn't limited. He doesn't get too busy worrying about other things. You're making Hashem very small if you say ‘He has other things to worry about.’ Also Hashem doesn't worry.”

I went back and forth a few rounds with the commenter, far longer than I should have. But I was trying to clarify a misunderstanding that is one of my pet peeves. An Infinite God doesn’t get too busy. However, the commenter did bring up a question, does God really care about you? How do we know Hashem has a personal relationship with us? A very interesting answer to that is given by the Piacezna Rebbe from a comment on a verse from this week’s parsha, Ki Seitzei.

In our day and age, the most iconic representation of prayer is someone, perhaps a mother or a child, on their knees, elbows on the bed, hands clasped together, as the person pours out their heart to a personal and loving Deity. “Are you there, God? It’s me…” But why would we think God is there, waiting to hear from us? In Judaism, prayer as we know it today, was formulated by the Anshe Knesset HaGadolah (The Men of the Great Assembly). It was there we were given the formula we’re all so familiar with today: Baruch Ata Hashem…

Ata, “You,” is the second person accusative, a direct address to an immediate audience. In Hebrew this second person is known as nochach, which means opposite of or to relate to. This is in contrast to the third person, “He,” which in Hebrew is known, nistar, which also means hidden. So it is within the very design of our prayer that not only is God there to listen to us, personally, speaking to him in such a way reveals God.

According to the Piacezna Rebbe, it goes even deeper. The more we strive to learn Torah, the more we learn about God. That makes our relationship with God deeper than some prayer vending machine, but instead, a mutual relationship. When we pray to God with You, God reveals himself to us with understandings and insights that are unique to that person. You bring a unique aspect of God into the physical world that can only be brought by you. “By saying ‘You’ to God, a person achieves a revelation of God, imminent… The Torah that God teaches someone individually and personally cannot be grasped by anyone else.” (Aish Kadosh: Ki Seitzei, Sept 14, 1940)

This unique revelation of God through prayer can only be achieved if the person praying reveals themselves in that prayer. Meaning that intimate, heartfelt, and unrestrained sincere prayer is what is key. “His own essential self must be found in the words of prayer.” But how do we reach such sincerity, such vulnerability, day in and day out? How do we bring ourselves to prayer when there is such a pull for our thoughts to remain focused on worries, distractions, or responsibilities while we are talking to the Almighty?

For that, the Piacezna Rebbe points to the opening verse of the parsha. “When you wage war against your enemies, Hashem your God will put them into your hands so that you will take captives.” (Devarim 21:10)

It is a popular interpretation that “war against your enemies” doesn’t necessarily have to refer to literal enemies of war, but instead the yetzer hara, aka the evil inclination. Everyone struggles with their vices and temptations. But how serious we are about that struggle is the difference between success and failure. If one is casual, they’re not so likely to make lasting change. But if one gets serious, regarding the struggle as war, then they are sincere in their teshuvah and are far more likely to do what is necessary. Especially when authentically asking Hashem for help. That struggle is unique and so their prayers will be equally unique. The more honest and vulnerable we are about our struggles, the more passionate and specific our prayers will be.

Finally the Piacezna Rebbe makes an even deeper insight on the verse. “You will take captives” (in Hebrew: v’shavitha shivyo) can also be translated as “you will return His return.” Shavitha and shivyo are forms of the Hebrew root shin, bet, and hay. Teshuvah, (poorly translated as Jewish repentance, but literally translated as return) also comes from this root. So when we take our yetzer hara seriously and wage war against it, not only do we return (via teshuvah), Hashem returns to us. Both, to fight the battle, which is why the verse above seems to guarantee victory, and also in a manifestation that is uniquely revealed and shaped by you.

When it comes to the wars we wage with one another, it is a good idea to pick our battles. Arguing with a faceless redditor over nuances that will get downvoted and ignored probably wasn’t the best use of my time. But when it comes to our personal struggles, our yetzer hara, our anxiety about the future, our ability to study for a final exam, that we can go to war over whenever we feel compelled to. And if we’re willing to take that struggle to Hashem, directly asking for help in that war, He is not only guaranteed to care, He’ll be present in a way He never could have been without you.

This D'var Torah is dedicated to the refuah shleima of my mother, Reiza Chaya bas Zlotta Sheindal.