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Is there a source that the Shechina rests where there is peace between husband and wife?
I've heard many times (for example https://matzav.com/where-hashem-is-found-in-our-marriage/ https://www.aish.com/f/rf/Intimacy_in_Marriage.html https://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/torah/is-hashem-in-your-marriage/2019/09/20/ and https://torah.org/learning/integrity-sakeofpeace/ ) that if there is peace between husband and wife the Shechina will rest between them.
The Gemara in Sotah 17a writes:
דריש ר"ע איש ואשה זכו שכינה ביניהן לא זכו אש אוכלתן
רש"י שם - זכו - ללכת בדרך ישרה שלא יהא הוא נואף ולא היא נואפת:
(translation from Sefaria with Rashi's explanation blended in) Rabbi Akiva taught: If a man [ish] and woman [isha] merit reward through a faithful marriage, the Divine Presence rests between them. The words ish and isha are almost identical; the difference between them is the middle letter yod in ish, and the final letter heh in isha. These two letters can be joined to form the name of God spelled yod, heh. But if due to licentiousness they do not merit reward, the Divine Presence departs, leaving in each word only the letters alef and shin, which spell esh, fire. Therefore, fire consumes them.
Thus, based on Rashi, the Shechina will rest between any couple that is faithful to each other and does not engage in forbidden relations.
This is obviously not the same as saying that the Shechina rests on any couple that has peace. Is there a different way to understand this Gemara or a different source who learns a little differently?
1 answer
I found it.
עיון יעקב סוטה יז. ד"ה איש ואשה זו שכינה ביניהם - ועי"ל זכו שיש שלום ביניהם שכינה ביניהם כי שם ה' שלום. ועליהם נאמר (איוב ה:כד) וידעת כי שלום אהלך ופקדת נוך ולא תחטא ולהכי שמו של הקב"ה נמחה על המים לעשות שלום בין איש לאשתו משא"כ אם לא זכו שאין שלום ביניהם אש המחלוקת אוכלתן.
Iyun Yaakov Sotah 17a - Another possibility is that the word "זכו" - "they merit" refers to there being peace between them for the name of Hashem is Shalom. And on them the Passuk says (Iyov 5:24) "You will know that all is well in your tent; When you visit your wife you will never fail." This is also why the name of Hashem is erased in water to make peace between husband and wife. However, if there is no peace between them the fire of strife will consume them."
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